to the beat of our noisy hearts

School is so SOON! so so so soon. I love school. Well not really but sort of. I love structure. I drew my schedule in colored pencil already (nerd alert).

I forgot to talk about my trip to Graceland. It was AWESOME.

OKAY I just watched last night's Daily Show. I have really fucking had it up to here with the audience of that show whenever a conservative comes on. Stop cheering wildly at whatever Jon says and essentially acting like you are in a cult and he is the leader. Jon treats everyone with respect and genuinely wants to here what they will say. He is interested in discussion, not "winning". STEPHEN's show is the perfect forum for you to act like a mindless dickwad. Although I recognize that it is probably confusing for the show to go from dick jokes to like talking serious politics, and that is probably why the people in the audience seem like huge assholes. It just seems like the audience is ganging up on the guest, which sucks for them.

Conversation my dad and I had yesterday:
Me: We are going to Oberweis, but I don't think that I will get anything. Because Oberweis is expensive.
My dad: True.
Me: And fattening.
My dad: Also true...also it is owned by a huge Republican.
Me: THE TRIPLE THREAT.

Then he sent me outside to fetch the milk...from Oberweis. Okay Dad.

OMG Superbad comes out tomorrow. I am sad that Michael Cera will become famous, which means that I will be farther away from having his child. But the movie will be kickass. I love Judd Apatow too much. Also I found out (by IMDB stalking) that Michael Cera's next movie has Jason Bateman in it...his TELEVISION FATHER! Yay. Also Rainn Wilson. Yayy.

I may or may not have cut out pictures of Michael Cera from a magazine yesterday to make a Michael Cera collage.

If I ever met Spencer from The Hills in real life, I would punch him in the nuts.

I am sad that summer is over. This summer was kind of kickass. I went to Connecticut and Kansas and Tennessee, what a random assortment. I saw a shitload of my favorite bands.

Okay I have to poop. HAHA.

but at least the war is over

Concerts that I want to/am going to go to:
September 5--The Format, Pop's
September 24--Animal Collective, Gargoyle
September 25--The Good Life, Gargoyle
October 10--Ted Leo, Gargoyle (I hope he really comes)
October 11--Dan Deacon, SLU
October 22--Nada Surf, Gargoyle
October 30--Menomena, SLU
November 19--Of Montreal, the Pageant

Okay. That was just for record-keeping purposes. I would also potentially like to see Ryan Adams (sober) and Bloc Party.

ALSO Matt Nathanson's new CD comes out tomorrow, and it is going to be awwesome. Since it is the end of the summer, probably you are saving your money for like, beer or pot or that new New Pornographers CD or whatever. I mean you might not even like Matt Nathanson. His music is kind of pussy-ish. You might have to possess a vagina, I don't know. Sometimes I think that I only like Matt Nathanson because the shit he says between songs is so funny. But ANYWAY I recommend picking up his new CD.

I have gotten off my Pulitzer winner kick. This is sad but as my mother says I guess I have the rest of my life to complete this task. I read Middlesex which was amazing and now I am sort of very slowly reading The Road. It is phenomenal but incredibly bleak and depressing so it is sort of work to get myself to read it. Anyway I might not finish it, at least for a long time. I am in the mood to read frivolous books. I think tomorrow (when I buy my new Matt Nathanson CD), I will buy the new Jessica Darling book and maybe the new Georgia what's her name book. Well I have to read to see if these books are worth buying first. Also I need to buy A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.

I have been rereading the works of Chuck Klosterman, which seem pretty frivolous but expand my mind at the same time, which is my favorite kind of thing to read. They also are easy enough to read that I can listen to pretty much any music that I want, which is also awesome.

Okay that's all.

if we sleep together would you be my friend forever?

OH MAN. Okay it has been a long time since I wrote a little something about my life. I am not going to write about Harry Potter because I feel like I spent the last zillion years talking about the subject. I liked the book, the epilogue much less so.

Last weekend I went to Kansas City. It was a barrel of fun! I went to visit my friend/alternate personality Melanie. We are sharing a bathroom next year, so basically my life will be sweet. Her family is really awesome. We went to the zoo and I took pictures of the animals. I am thinking about making a Facebook album of only animals called "My Only Facebook Album." Only I would find that hilarious.

This weekend I am going to Lollapalooza. I guess I am excited, but sort of apprehensive. I hope it is fun and not too crowded and not too hot. I hope I hope I hope.

Right now I am reading Middlesex which is excellent, in a completely different way than I had expected. My project is to read all of the Pulitzer Prize winners, which is an enormous task. I think when I finish Middlesex I will have only read 8 plus half of the collected stories of John Cheever which was just insanely long.

That is all I have to say.

between the click of the light and the start of the dream

that movie I Know Pronounce You Chuck and Larry looks like the most offensive garbage ever. Jesus. Why is that funny? It will probably make a shitload of money and piss me off forever. I hate people.

Animal Collective and Ted Leo are separately coming to my school next year! Way to go Wash U. I am not sure how this happened but it is really awesome.

I want to say congratulations to the Daily Show for finding John Oliver. He is so great! I am also fond of Aasif Mandvi and the black guy (that sounds horrible, I don't know his name). I really thought they would not recover from losing all their correspondents, but they found pretty great people. Also...why is Steve Carrell never on the Colbert Report? I need Even Stevphens in my life!

Maybe I should take a pre-Potter nap. Or watch old episodes of How I Met Your Mother. One of those.

I am not sure why I made this post! I guess my thoughts are just too genius.

all of my daydreams are disasters

Okay so today I watched "I Am Trying To Break Your Heart," which is a documentary about Wilco made by Sam Jones. It is about the making of their Yankee Hotel Foxtrot album and getting dropped from their label and trying to figure out what to do. It was a really good film, I liked it a lot. I think I can safely say that Wilco is my favorite band in the world. Partially that is because I discovered them when I was like 14 and they are one of the first bands that I ever independently fell in love with. Like Belle and Sebastian. Or Pavement. So I think I will always just love them so unabashedly.

Yesterday I went to a free Decemberists concert in Millenium Park. Fun times. I made a pasta salad. There was hummus involved, so that is always a good sign.

I hope that Flight of the Conchords comes out with a soundtrack.

Another really really good movie that I saw recently was You Can Count on Me. I don't know if anyone else has seen it. I thought I would like it, but I didn't expect how much I would actually like it. I think it is a movie that would appeal to everyone. It is not even that indie-ish, but a lot of stuff in it is pretty subtle. Mark Ruffalo is so good. Well so is Laura Linney, but I think she is good in everything she does. Oh and a Culkin is in it. I think it's Rory? And he's awesome, like just a really solid kid performance. And it's shot beuaitufully. And it's just realistic and pretty heartbreaking and funny and...yeah I really loved it. I don't know why it isn't on anyone's radar, that's weird.

Tomorrow...Harry Potter. My God kids. It should go without saying that I am so excited that I might throw up.

revelation

Everything that plays on Comedy Central is either awesome or terrible. There is no middle.

a planet FULL of UNICORNS

I recently found out that people read this blog, and I CRIED. Haha not really but internally.

I have not seen my mom in a long time, sort of. We were not getting along earlier, but now I miss her.

I have decided to give up the internet until Friday, because I heard that Deathly Hallows leaked. Like the entire book. I am so scared to go anywhere, but I don't know how I will live without the Internet so we'll see.

So this weekend was such amazingness! I went to Pitchfork Music Festival. I saw the Twilight Sad, Voxtrot, Grizzly Bear, Battles, Dan Deacon and Girl Talk and that was just the first day. Yesterday I saw Menomena, Junior Boys, like half of the Sea and Cake, Stephen Malkmus sort of, Of Montreal, the New Pornographers and Klaxons! Doesn't that blow your mind? It was so good. On Saturday like everyone flooded the smallest stage and Dan Deacon had to cut his set short and I felt bad for him because he tried to make a dance circle and it was chaos. And then after like an hour delay Girl Talk came out and it was just madness. I could not breathe for all the people around me and I certainly could not dance, which is a travesty. Seeing Girl Talk in concert is beautiful though, most especially because Grizzly Bear came on the stage and started singing (where were you Clipse?). Yesterday I saw Kevin Barnes's ass. Of Montreal puts on like the craziest show. It was just such awesomeness. Also the people I was with are like the two coolest girls that I know. Seriously.

I just watched yesterday's Flight of the Conchords and it wasn't up to par with the other episodes in my opinion. Well it was still funny but. Something was off. I think it was Sally's fault. I didn't mind her in the first episode, but I hope she is gone for good.

I forgot to mention the BEST PART of Pfork was that I bought two posters that are SO RAD...one Broken Social Scene and one Clap Your Hands Say Yeah. They are going to beautify my room next year, I cannot wait. I also recently acquired a Page France poster signed by the whole band! Wow my walls are going to make the other walls jealous. God I love these two posters. I like to just look at them.

Oh my God I just pre-ordered my Harry Potter book. I AM SO EXCITED. But really I wish that it wasn't so soon. I am not ready to say goodbye. I think I am in that Facebook Group "when HP 7 is over I won't have a reason to live"...except for me it is not a joke. I think I might kill myself. My friend Sanita and I are going to jump off of a bridge on broomsticks, pretending that we think we can fly. Then people will know that Harry Potter Kills.

What book should I read next?

he loves you straighter than I do.

Dressing up like minor Harry Potter characters is transcendental.

I am pretty sure that the Hype Machine (www.hypem.com) is the greatest invention of the last century. My life before it...sucked.

Today I rode my bike and I listened to Interpol and Spoon. Oh and I got in a fight with my mom and it was so lame. That really brought me down. Kind of sucky. So now I guess I am in a crappy mood. This is me pretending that I am in a less crappy mood than I am, I guess.

I have Last.fm but it is a little pointless. But I really love the word "scrobbled".

I hate that I never try for the things I want.

I think I could fill a whole life doing nothing, and it would be glorious.

words like girls get bored and run

yesterday i turned nineteen. it was a good day. we went to a dan deacon show and he drew me a cake. that guy is the man. anyway it made me happy.

serial killers know how to party

My grandma, about my cousin: "She is going to some festival for Christian music. I don't know. She doesn't go to Mass, but she likes that stuff. Like, does she think that that will get her into Heaven?"

Haha I love my grandma. She is sick so keep her in your prayers okay guys?

Happy 4th.

you know I dreamed about you for twenty-nine years.

It is thunderstorming really crazily outside. I love thunderstorms but my dog is such a basket case, it takes some fun out of it.

things that are great:

1. the new National CD
2. about 25% of the clothes at forever 21
3. Jason Segel --omg I love this guy too much. He was on Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared and now he is on How I Met Your Mother and basically every time he talks I laugh until I cry. If you don't watch any of those shows you may recognize him as one of Seth Rogen's friends from Knocked Up. Also IMDB just showed me that he is making a movie co-starring Kristen Bell. Which is just too much awesome. veronica mars for the win.
4. Harry Potter. Yeah I bet no one ever said that before. Whatever I know it's overhyped but I love it so much. I have read the first five books so far this summer. Actually I just finished Book Five today. It was weird because the first time I read it I remember hating it, but this time as soon as I opened the book it was like crack. I kind of loved it. Maybe because this time I didn't cry like a bitch.
5. Matt Nathanson's blog--hahahaha. Matt Nathanson you are my favorite. I wish I could just be your opening act and go on your tour bus and listen to every random thing you say. If you don't love Matt Nathanson you should learn what's up!
6. One Tree Hill reruns on Soap Net (obviously)
7. Planet Unicorn: Remixx.
8. The new drink I invented, Diet Coke plus an entire thing of Crystal Light Lemonade powder.
9. Pitchfork Music Festival. Well this is premature but it was sick last year and I am only expecting it to be better. Wow way to set your self up for disappointment EJ.
10. Yogurt from Target, or Archer Farms yogurt. I don't know what the deal is with me and yogurt lately but I honestly eat at least one yogurt a day. My new preferred brand is the yogurt from Target which I thought was called Archer Hills but I guess it is Archer Farms so thank you Wikipedia. The Honey Almond is my especial favorite. These yogurts from Target are just really good.

Okay I don't know how that list got so long. Blogging always makes me feel like such a loser but I still like it sort of. It's sort of like having a friend that doesn't talk or listen. Or going to therapy if your therapist is a rock.

Maybe this blog would be better if it were more frequent and shorter? No one wants to read this long shit. Haha but no one reads this! Never mind.

Okay so in like 23 hours I will be nineteen. I know I am younger than everyone else but that seems realyl old to me. My life is going by quickly and it seems to be pretty pointless so far. I wish I could stop time and figure out what the hell is going on. I think about how short life is like every second, that is probably totally counterproductive. I sound like a super-stoned philosophy major. I am going to stop.

Well it's pretty late. I guess I will go to bed. Tomorrow I am going to take a bike ride and watch fireworks. My life is pretty much the same as it was when I was twelve, except sometimes I drink and make bad choices. Obviously twelve was better.

also

I forgot to add that a black cat totally crossed our path yesterday.

summer

Okay so I just made this blog. I guess so that I can unleash my thoughts on the unsuspecting world. I mean it feels sort of self-centered and weird, but I don't know. I'm going to write this anyway.

Life has been sort of weird lately. Like, I don't have a job, and I'm not taking classes, and I am sort of running out of things to do. Like the novelty of having to do nothing has worn off. Well, I guess I have an interview tomorrow for teaching an SAT class, which maybe will go somewhere. I am also thinking of taking a class at ECC, like photography or cooking or something, just for fun. I guess I have to get on that if I am going to do it. I have to prepare this whole presentation for my interview tomorrow, which is intense and I have not even started thinking about it. Well also I guess Anna and I are looking for jobs at Stratford tomorrow maybe, but I feel not optimistic about that.

So anyway I guess that is why I am sort of in a funk--like you know how, the less you do, the less you can do? Like...I feel too lazy to bring in the mail or to throw my yogurt lids in the trash. I need something to pull me out of this. Some days I don't even leave the house until it is dark. I mean doing nothing is good sometimes but I am used to being busy and accomplishing things. I guess I should have tried for more. Although I feel like I did apply for a lot of things this summer, but nothing panned out.

On the plus note, I have read nine books so far this summer. Well, four of them were rereads, but I still think that is pretty cool. They were:
The Tender Land by Kathleen Finneran
Harry Potter 1-4
Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger
Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer
Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl

So yeah I think that is pretty cool. I highly recommend every single one of those books, in case you are looking for some summer reading. I just finished Special Topics in Calamity Physics, which was an interesting reading experience. When I started it, I thought "oh my God, this is the most pretentious shit ever, I can't even get through this" and I put it down for a few weeks. Then I powered through it and got into the middle and then I just really couldn't put it down. The ending is insane--like there's a surprise and so you think "oh okay that is the shocker ending" and then there's another one and you're like "oh wow okay" and then there's another one and another and you keep getting punched in the gut and you're like "holy shit I don't know anything anymore." It was a really good book, once I got through it.

Plus I just checked out a whole bunch of books at the library. My mom and I decided to read all the Pulitzer Prize winners, but then today I realized that there are 89, and I have literally only read 6, so who knows how that will go. Anyway right now I am reading One Hundred Years of Solitude (Marquez) and A Thousand Acres (Smiley). I am taking a little break from Harry Potter. Goblet of Fire was so sick (in the good way), but I am not looking forward to five really at all.

I am writing a little, but it is slow going and difficult to finish stuff without a deadline. I guess that is what I really want to accomplish this summer: read a lot and build up a big body of writing work. But I am getting really lazy. I need someone to kick my ass.

Tonight I saw the film Rushmore for the first time with my friend Dave. I expected that I would love it and I did. It was sort of weird that I had never seen it before, but now I have so I am glad.

My dog is in my bed, and I think he is really gassy tonight. He is really depressed because my dad is in Canada, so all of a sudden he has decided he loves me and can't leave my side. I don't even know.

Do you ever feel like there is just too much good music, too many good books, too many great films, and you will just never experience them all? What if you never read your favorite book, because you didn't have time, or someone put it in the wrong place in the library, or you never heard of it? I guess maybe it doesn't matter, but it sometimes makes me sad.